Since my 49th is coming up shortly, I was thinking about:
Gettin’ Old
Hullo! What's this I feel? I'm gettin' old I do declare--
My aches and pains, they trouble me, they drive me to despair!
Hold on! Don't fail me, knees, I beg; please, eyes, keep looking good.
I'm buying Tylenol in bulk, my doctor said I should.
Whuzzup? I see some signs I fear my age is escalating.
The hair I had up top is clearly disinskullferating.
What's this? I see hair here and there, where 'twas ne'er hair before--
I tweeze and pinch, and ouch and wince, alas! there's more and more.
Say what? I've lost capacity to call to mind that word--
It sits there, stuck to tip o' tongue, it just will not be heard!
I substitute "oh, what's it's name" in place of "diagnosis,"
And "whozywhatsis" pops right out instead of "halitosis."
No way, I say! Impossible that I could put on years
The way my car has rolled up miles, or Packers fans down beers.
Perhaps the birthday Grinch snuck in to steal years with a chortle...
Each grain of sand that falls, each day, reminds me that I'm mortal.
Steve Stratford
3/26/06
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Monday, March 20, 2006
Funverse #3
And then we were headed for a snowstorm here in Wisconsin, and I had a bit of fun with the thought:
Well We Got Some Snow But Not Eight Inches
Heidy ho my good neighbor, let’s get ready for snow;
The weatherman says that we’re in for a blow.
I can see what will happen, I can see in mind’s eye
That the ground will be white and the snowflakes will fly.
Throw the snow, my good fellow, with five-point-five horses
A-pulling your snowblower sleigh, yes of courses.
It gobbles snow, chews it up, churns it, shoots high
While old winter man shakes more snow from the sky.
Frosty-o, man o’ snow, oddly shaped balls of white,
Piled one top of other make an odd bulbous sight.
The bulges and bumps give the guy personality,
Eyes of coal, twiggy arms, merest hint of reality.
It’s a lark, say the kids, we can stay home from school,
No more teachers, no books, “Yay, hooray, that’s so cool.”
Our Mom says, “Oh no,” and Dad says, “I am outta here.”
But Mom says, ”Oh no, not so fast, stay and help me dear.”
The snow’s come and gone, look what’s left on the street--
A residue of snow bits—ah, that’s salt at my feet…
Sun warms up, snow must melt, H2O transformation:
Just can’t wait 'til next snow, frabjous day jubilation!
Steve Stratford
3/17/2006
Well We Got Some Snow But Not Eight Inches
Heidy ho my good neighbor, let’s get ready for snow;
The weatherman says that we’re in for a blow.
I can see what will happen, I can see in mind’s eye
That the ground will be white and the snowflakes will fly.
Throw the snow, my good fellow, with five-point-five horses
A-pulling your snowblower sleigh, yes of courses.
It gobbles snow, chews it up, churns it, shoots high
While old winter man shakes more snow from the sky.
Frosty-o, man o’ snow, oddly shaped balls of white,
Piled one top of other make an odd bulbous sight.
The bulges and bumps give the guy personality,
Eyes of coal, twiggy arms, merest hint of reality.
It’s a lark, say the kids, we can stay home from school,
No more teachers, no books, “Yay, hooray, that’s so cool.”
Our Mom says, “Oh no,” and Dad says, “I am outta here.”
But Mom says, ”Oh no, not so fast, stay and help me dear.”
The snow’s come and gone, look what’s left on the street--
A residue of snow bits—ah, that’s salt at my feet…
Sun warms up, snow must melt, H2O transformation:
Just can’t wait 'til next snow, frabjous day jubilation!
Steve Stratford
3/17/2006
Funverse #2
Well we got to talking about a recorded story called "Gregory the Grub", and started having some fun with names of animals. I got to playing with words and this is what I came up with:
The Woo Hoo Zoo
Let's bundle up and be off to the Woo Hoo Zoo today,
Yippee yi-o ki-a, galloping all the way!
First, we stop at the big little Mammalian House,
See Larry the Lion and Moustafa the Mouse.
Slipping and sliding to the Big Cat a-Room-a,
We'll meet Pete the Panther and Thuma the Puma!
In the African Safari, there's a real woo hoo view:
Zig the Zebra, Hap the Hippo, and Lulu the New Gnu.
Visiting the Petting Zoo is definitely a do-now:
Pig the Hog, Dick the Dog, and "How Now" the Brown Cow.
Last, a picnic on the Zoo Lawn should do the trick,
Why it's Gregory Grub, Auntie Ant, and Nick Walking Stick!
Look out! There's Elle the Giraffaphant, Marta Aardilla,
BetterButter the Flutterby, even Dino Dinozilla!
Yeah! the Woo Hoo Zoo is a great place to be,
When you round the next corner, who knows who you'll see?
Steve Stratford
3/13/2006
The Woo Hoo Zoo
Let's bundle up and be off to the Woo Hoo Zoo today,
Yippee yi-o ki-a, galloping all the way!
First, we stop at the big little Mammalian House,
See Larry the Lion and Moustafa the Mouse.
Slipping and sliding to the Big Cat a-Room-a,
We'll meet Pete the Panther and Thuma the Puma!
In the African Safari, there's a real woo hoo view:
Zig the Zebra, Hap the Hippo, and Lulu the New Gnu.
Visiting the Petting Zoo is definitely a do-now:
Pig the Hog, Dick the Dog, and "How Now" the Brown Cow.
Last, a picnic on the Zoo Lawn should do the trick,
Why it's Gregory Grub, Auntie Ant, and Nick Walking Stick!
Look out! There's Elle the Giraffaphant, Marta Aardilla,
BetterButter the Flutterby, even Dino Dinozilla!
Yeah! the Woo Hoo Zoo is a great place to be,
When you round the next corner, who knows who you'll see?
Steve Stratford
3/13/2006
Funverse #1
My brother was born on the 26th of February, another brother on the 27th, and my Mom on the 28th. We have a fun birthday weekend at the end of February each year.
In their honor I composed this bit of funverse:
Three Ducks in a Row
Yes yes oh yes it’s the Strat birthday trio
Ron, Jon & Mom heidy ho solamio
Three big b-days one right after the ortha’
#2 brother, #3 brother, and of course our dear Mortha.
Hardy har hoo, musical bruth’ #2
Pluck strings, song sings, croon-doodle-doo,
Down there in Nashville, Grand Ol’ Opry place,
In Dixie land, hi-diddle-diddle-fiddle space.
Hoolie hoo hee to the big bruth’ #3,
Jonah by nickname, soybean man, six foot three,
Corvetter extrordinaire, ex-Maytag man
Fighting hunger, whirled-wide, yep that’s the plan.
Howdy how how to the mother of Us
Wife of Joseph, the guy who was driver of bus
Landlord (landlady) of old Penquite property
Independently wealthy, hipperty hopperty.
So lift up eyeglasses to three birthdays great
Luckily they weren’t born 3-2-1 days too late
Cause then we’d only have this much biz-o’-monkey
Only in long Feb years--now that’s hunky junky!
(OK OK I know that just because they might have been born a couple of days later, that doesn't mean they'd have been born in a leap year, in fact none were born in leap years. But it's fun to think about.)
Steve Stratford
3/27/2006
In their honor I composed this bit of funverse:
Three Ducks in a Row
Yes yes oh yes it’s the Strat birthday trio
Ron, Jon & Mom heidy ho solamio
Three big b-days one right after the ortha’
#2 brother, #3 brother, and of course our dear Mortha.
Hardy har hoo, musical bruth’ #2
Pluck strings, song sings, croon-doodle-doo,
Down there in Nashville, Grand Ol’ Opry place,
In Dixie land, hi-diddle-diddle-fiddle space.
Hoolie hoo hee to the big bruth’ #3,
Jonah by nickname, soybean man, six foot three,
Corvetter extrordinaire, ex-Maytag man
Fighting hunger, whirled-wide, yep that’s the plan.
Howdy how how to the mother of Us
Wife of Joseph, the guy who was driver of bus
Landlord (landlady) of old Penquite property
Independently wealthy, hipperty hopperty.
So lift up eyeglasses to three birthdays great
Luckily they weren’t born 3-2-1 days too late
Cause then we’d only have this much biz-o’-monkey
Only in long Feb years--now that’s hunky junky!
(OK OK I know that just because they might have been born a couple of days later, that doesn't mean they'd have been born in a leap year, in fact none were born in leap years. But it's fun to think about.)
Steve Stratford
3/27/2006
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