Comforting hymn:When We See Christ

Esther Kerr Rusthoi
Oft times the day seems long, our trials hard to bear,
We're tempted to complain, to murmur and despair;
But Christ will soon appear to catch His Bride away,
All tears forever over in God's eternal day.

Refrain
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One gliimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Sometimes the sky looks dark with not a ray of light,
We're tossed and driven on , no human help in sight;
But there is one in heav'n who knows our deepest care,
Let Jesus solve your problem - just go to Him in pray'r.

Refrain
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One gliimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Life's day will soon be o'er, all storms forever past,
We'll cross the great divide, to glory, safe at last;
We'll share the joys of heav'n - a harp, a home, a crown,
The tempter will be banished, we'll lay our burden down.

Refrain
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One gliimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.


Return to the Songbook

MUsing about my trial (How did THIS become His (good) will for my life??

I think preachers need to deal with with this topic differently. The fact that Christ begged to be excused from the death He was to die, and that Paul asked 3 times to be delivered from his affliction, which may have been epilepsy, by the way, is compelling that one may ask to be delivered from the (bad) trial they are going through. (It seems to me that they (Preachers) can't bring themselves to allow the sheep in their flock the latitude to say, "It was NOT "good" that ____ happened to me", whatever the ____ happens to be, there seems to be a compulsion to force people grudgingly to say "____ was good," no matter what the "____" is. I think we do a disservice to God's goodness also when we are compelled to say, "this is His good Will for my life," as if He reached into a big bag at the beginning of my life and picked out a ball marked "brain tumor" for me and then said, "OK, that's a good one for Steve--Oh, around age 50 sounds good" I believe God is good but not cruel, and that He knows what will happen in advance, (otherwise He wouldn't be omniscient). However, it IS His Permissive Will that He allowed it to happen to me(otherwise He wouldn't be sovereign (and could have stopped it, otherwise He wouldn't be omnipotent) as part of the natural consequences of living in a sin-cursed world. However, we are to give thanks for everything.

Jesus led me all the way

* Some day life’s journey will be o’er
* And I shall reach that distant shore,
* I’ll sing while ent’ring Heaven’s door
* “Jesus led me all the way.”

* If God should let me there review
* The winding paths of earth I knew,
* It would be proven clear and true
* Jesus led me all the way.

* And hitherto my Lord has led,
* Today He guides each step I tread,
* And soon in Heav’n it will be said
* Jesus led me all the way.

* Jesus led me all the way,
* Led me step by step each day;
* I will tell the saints and angels
* As I lay my burden down
* “Jesus led me all the way.

Comforting Hymn: I'd rather have Jesus

Rhea Miller
I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold,
I'd rather be His than have riches untold;
I'd rather have Jesus than houses or land,
I'd rather be led by His nail-pierced hand:

Chorus
Than to be the king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin's dread sway
I'd rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today

I'd rather have Jesus than men's applause,
I'd rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame,
I'd rather be true to His holy name:...

He's fairer than lilies of rarest bloom,
He's sweeter than honey from out the comb;
He's all that my hungering spirit needs;
I'd rather have Jesus and let Him lead:...

Comforting Hymn: Does Jesus care?

Frank E. Graeff

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress
And the way grows weary and long?

Refrain

Oh yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

Does Jesus care when my way is dark
With a nameless dread and fear?
As the daylight fades into deep night shades,
Does He care enough to be near?

Refrain

Does Jesus care when I’ve tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief there is no relief,
Though my tears flow all the night long?

Refrain

Does Jesus care when I’ve said “goodbye”
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks,
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?

Musing about my trial (posting health updates to Facebook/Blog)

When you have a life- threatening disease like mine, as a Christian, posting updates to FaceBook (or your blog) is kind of a two-edged sword, for one thing, your thoughts and feelings are hanging right out there, if people are thinking you're being too negative about dying, well-meaning friends take you to task right away with a verse or two about how Christians shouldn't be afraid of dying or about how good God is. Some have come right out and said Christians should relish the thought of dying, I'm sorry, cancer is not a good thing, it is painful, ugly, and nasty. It is a product of the Fall. OK OK God does work all things together for good in the life of a Christian and I (and others) am certainly learning good lessons through this but that's different than saying it is good for me to have a brain tumor. It is NOT. Let me state without a moment's hesitation that having a brain tumor is not a good thing. Brain tumors are ugly and nasty and virulent, and they kill people. They rank up there with guns and pit vipers. Sorry, I do not relish the thought of dying of a brain tumor. It will be a messy, messy, way to go, if thats's what takes my life in the end (it may not be, of course). Yet we all will exit this life somehow. I pray that my exit will be quiet and graceful and that yet in the time I have left I may have a positive impact, in fact, I want to live as long as possible, yet. The will to live is God-given, it's part of being alive("survival instinct") it is simply NOT WRONG for me to want to live. "Survival instinct" keeps us alive. As I have said in other musings (below), I am not afraid to pass into eternity, I will be glad to go home to be with the Lord (please do not "promote me to glory" I think that phrase is so hokey, I want it to be said of me that I "went home to be with the Lord," please. When my name is called, I will not be afraid of entering eternity, I'm just really sad about the prospect of leaving all the God-given good things about my life(my wife, career, church ministries, good friends, family, house, dog, job, apple trees, raspberry bushes, chocolate mint coffee, backyard screen room), etc. The Bible says not to fear death because its victory is gone, and the sting is gone, so, no, I don't fear death. It also says to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Paul said that put him him in a bit of a ministry quandary. I can relate to that, he said he wanted to stay with the Phillippians to continue to help them. I would certainly like to continue my ministry here on earth as long as possible.

Frankly, the meds I am on can cause depression, so although I am not depressed, I do have up and down days, sorry about that.

Another comforting hymn: Nearer, Still Nearer

Lei­la N. Mor­ris,

Nearer, still nearer, close to Thy heart,
Draw me, my Savior—so precious Thou art!
Fold me, oh, fold me close to Thy breast.
Shelter me safe in that “Haven of Rest”;
Shelter me safe in that “Haven of Rest.”

Nearer, still nearer, nothing I bring,
Naught as an offering to Jesus, my King;
Only my sinful, now contrite heart.
Grant me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart.
Grant me the cleansing Thy blood doth impart.

Nearer, still nearer, Lord, to be Thine!
Sin, with its follies, I gladly resign,
All of its pleasures, pomp and its pride,
Give me but Jesus, my Lord, crucified.
Give me but Jesus, my Lord, crucified.

Nearer, still nearer, while life shall last.
Till safe in glory my anchor is cast;
Through endless ages ever to be
Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee;
Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee!

comforting song lyrics: Rock of Ages

Au­gus­tus M. Top­la­dy
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From Thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labor of my hands
Can fulfill Thy law’s demands;
Could my zeal no respite know,
Could my tears forever flow,
All for sin could not atone;
Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to the cross I cling;
Naked, come to Thee for dress;
Helpless look to Thee for grace;
Foul, I to the fountain fly;
Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeting breath,
When mine eyes shall close in death,
[originally When my eye-strings break in death]
When I soar to worlds unknown,
See Thee on Thy judgment throne,
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in Thee.

Famous quote by Napoleon Hill:

What the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.
Revised: ..., God can help you achieve.

Comforting song lyrics: My Father's Love

My Father's Love

v1
The world wealth and riches can be bought and sold,
but i posess a treasure far greater than gold;
t'was a gift passed down to me from heaven above,
'twas the gift of my father's love.

ch
And my father's love is strong and true,
always believing,
always seeing me through.
so, no matter what happens in his grand design,
i'll be fine with my father's love.

v2
safe and secure now in his love alone,
i find here my place of worth as one of his own.
and i don't need ev'rything this world wants to give,
'cause i live with my father's love.

ch
and my father's love is strong and true,
always believing always seeing me through.
so no matter what happens in his grand design,
i'll be fine with my father's love
so no matter what happens in his grand design,
i'll be fine with my father's love,
with my father's love.
i have my father's love;
i have my father's love

Comforting Song Lyrics: I need Thee every hour

Annie Hawks
I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

Refrain

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

Refrain

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

Refrain

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

Refrain

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.

Notes I have carried on my PDA or in my Franklin planner for years: Critical Thinking

Reason by analogy

Construct an inductive argument from given premises/evidence
Assess credibility (of evidence, witness, etc.)
Identify explicit parts of an argument (conclusion, evidence, etc.)
Revise beliefs in the face of new evidence
Identify possible and probable consequences of a course of action
Evaluate relevance and adequacy of evidence provided
Formulate hypotheses to explain given data
Identify fallacious reasoning
Recognize inconsistencies/contradictions (among data, between data and theories, etc.)
Construct a deductive argument from given premises/evidence
Synthesize disparate information into coherent whole
Identify underlying assumptions/presuppositions

Musings about my trial (medicine+Prayer)

James 5:14 says, "Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:" In the NT era, oil was used for medicinal purposes. James is prescribing medicine and prayer. Though, in my case, of course, the elders did not apply the medicine, the doctors did v. 15: "And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up." Many are praying in faith for me. If the Lord wills, He will raise me up.

There's a wideness in God's mercy

Here's a super poem crying out for a new, fresh tune

There's a wideness in God's mercy
like the wideness of the sea;
there's a kindness in his justice,
which is more than liberty.
There is welcome for the sinner,
and more graces for the good;
there is mercy with the Savior;
there is healing in his blood.

There is no place where earth's sorrows
are more felt than in heaven;
there is no place where earth's failings
have such kind judgment given.
There is plentiful redemption
in the blood that has been shed;
there is joy for all the members
in the sorrows of the Head.

For the love of God is broader
than the measure of man's mind;
and the heart of the Eternal
is most wonderfully kind.
If our love were but more faithful,
we should take him at his word;
and our life would be thanksgiving
for the goodness of the Lord.


Words: Frederick William Faber, 1862;

101 things I am thankful for (originally posted to Facebook on 10/2/2009)

1. A caring, compassionate, loving, committed, organized, employed wife.
2. Still being able to get myself out of bed in the morning
3. Still being able to hunt and peck with my right hand
4. Still being able to read
5. Still being able to shave my own face without help
6. Still being able to take stand-up showers
7. Praying friends
8. Encouragement partners on Facebook !
9. The Word (Hebrews 4:16, II Cor. 12:9 make a huge 1-2 Punch)
10. A bountiful garden harvest this year
11. Rain the last few days to fill my water reclamation tanks.
12. Helpful neighbors who mowed my lawn and helped out in other ways
13. A super-good disability benefit at work (60%of my last salary for life)
14. Pastor Moore and his wife who have been so self-sacrificially helpful and encouraging
15. My faithful computer, with which I spend so much time
16. My13-year-old puppy who loves me unconditionally
17. My Apple trees which bore such wonderful fruit this year, and that I can still eat an apple by myself.
18. That I can cut my own meat with my Knork.
19. That I can get out of the house on my own two feet
20. That I have a nice recumbent trike so I can get away from the house on my own
21. A wonderful, cool summer
22. Doctors who care
23. Medicines that work and are FDA approved just in the nick of time!
24. Successful operations (it was truly “Brain surgery”!)
25. Chocolate mint coffee
26. Yogurt & fresh fruit snacks in the morning
27. Guilt-free naps, morning and afternoon
28. Nice comfy clothing I can get on by myself
29. Fun computer games
30. A good report on my last MRI
31. Safety traveling to Madison many, many times for treatments and consultations
32. Excellent medical insurance and excellent help from Mark Stevens to guide us through the maze
33. Professional support from John Brock, allowing me to do some consulting for Maranatha to help out and earn a few bucks
34. That I am still 12 months past a Grand Mal seizure that was completely unexpected, and a serious glioblastoma Grade 4 brain tumor diagnosis that usually proves fatal in a matter of months.
35. That the brain tumor they found was operable.
36. The Farrell’s CD called “Amazing Grace:Eternal Life” has also been a special comfort.
37. That even though the surgeon thought he might have had to damage some left arm function, it appears that almost everything is working in my left arm, fingers, elbow, shoulder, thumb, though thumb is a little reluctant, it works. needing therapy to restore full function, and very, very weak.
38. That even though my balance has been poor for a year, I have not had any falls,
39. That even though my left arm is weak, there’s enough function there, particularly grip, for me to get along, like squeezing the toothpaste or shampoo.
40. That even though my left side is weak, I have not had any major accidents with knives or spills, except for knocking over my coffee once and ruining my ergonomic keyboard, oh, well.
41. That I have still been able to earn enough water and veggie/fruit and sleep and exercise and step points for the PHIT program at work to win more than $50 toward Chamber of Commerce gift certificates which I will use to buy Christmas gifts for my honey.
42. That I have learned that His Grace is sufficient , even in a trial like this.
43. That I have a bazillion praying friends all over the world!
44. For RSS readers that dig up really interesting stuff like this:http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/09/24/world/A-EU-Britain-Anglo-Saxon-Gold.html?_r=1&partner=rss&emc=rss
45. For comforting songs like, God Hath not promised”
46. Too many scripture passages to list here.
47. That I have stopped drooling due to my left side face weakness.
48. That I have stopped biting my tongue accidentally when eating.
49. That I have enough energy to help Cindy around the house
50. That I am blessed with loving brothers and sister who have made numerous trips to WI to help us out in various ways.
51. That my right arm and leg are still strong.
52. That my singing voice is slowly returning.
53. That my violin is patiently waiting for me
54. Velcro straps on sneakers & sandals
55. Elastic shoe strings so sneakers can be pulled on without tying!
56. Phone calls from friends and relatives I don’t hear from often
57. Warm oatmeal with raisins and brown sugar for breakfast
58. Doctors who can be reached by phone.
59. Neighbors who will drop what they’re doing to come over to help in an emergency.
60. That I can still navigate the basement stairs safely to get to my workshop & tool & household hardware supplies and exercise room.
61. Enjoying a good laugh over stupid stuff now and then with my honey.
62. The delicious Broccoli soup my wife makes.
63. For a really nice 10”LCD picture frame my honey bought me for my birthday where we run pics of our 25th anniversary Alaska trip. And flower pics, too.
64. For a really nice 24”HDTV and fine digital antenna reception.
65. The Mike Herbster Trio CD called “Always Giving Glory” has been a particular blessing.
66. That the occasional partial seizures that keep breaking out are not any worse than they are, and that Cindy has been around for all of them, and that I have been in relatively safe places for all of them.
67. For my niece Bethany who made me a really nice sign for my party asking people to take the camera and take a picture.
68. Also the Anchormen Quartet have produced some wonderfully comforting music, and the Calvary Quartet
69. For yellow cake cupcakes with chocolate
70. Enough hair to make a decent part (even if it’s curly!!)
71. Digital pictures that you can see immediately
72. Good friends who showed up to help me celebrate my 1-year seizure anniversary.
73. Pumpkin Pie spice coffee, yes Josh, it was really tasty. I still like Chocolate mint better, though—“no accounting for taste”
74. Digital memory cards, they’re just really handy.
75. Fall colors, which are just coming on.
76. People who are patient with the new me.
77. A book of Puritan prayers given to me by Pastor Moore.
78. Lots (too many!) of Physical Therapy ideas.
79. That I have lived long enough to see another Fall
80. That Cindy decided to send me to Madison rather than Milwaukee a year ago when I had my seizure. We really love our doctors.
81. That in July of 2010 our house will be paid off. I want to live that long to celebrate with Cindy.
82. That God gave us 30 years of trouble-free marriage, only Cindy’s allergies, a problem for which we eventually found a solution.
83. That “We Have good Things To Eat at Our House” (my tribute to Cindy’s cooking skills). Tonite on the menu—zucchini omelet, fresh cooked yellow roma beans with butter, fresh made concord grape juice, baked fresh apple cored/stuffed with homemade mincemeat. Yummy!!!
84. That “What time I am afraid, I can trust in Him.”
85. That we still have enough money to buy a Wii and Wii Fit and to save for a new car and to save for a Grand Canyon trip.
86. That the disease progression is stable for now and that the doctors say I am doing well(Sept.09)
87. For warm oat meal and banana bread.
88. Mrs. Sturgill’s chocolate chip zucchini bread!!!!
89. Interesting stuff to learn—Once we stop learning, we are dead.
90. Lunch with my sweetheart every day.
91. Surprises like Culver’s gift cards from anonymous friends
92. Information sources like ABTA
93. Songs with good, scriptural lyrics that comfort and uplift.
94. It is well with my soul.
95. The hem of His garment that I may “touch” at will.
96. Anti-seizure medication.
97. The promise of strength to the weak.
98. That over the past couple of years we have updated most of our appliances for Cindy.
99. For inexpensive term life insurance that we bought years ago and is still in force.
100. Herbals for regularity(these meds can do a number on you in that regard).
101. A nice collection of disney videos at home.

Musing about trials (when is a promise a promise?)

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” - Jeremiah 29:11 Hmmmm I like this verse which sounds like a nice promise but I'm a dispensationalist so I don't apply it to.myself....(continued)...In context it appears to be about God's plan for Israel's return to the Promised land after 70 years of captivity in Babylon. Gotta be careful not to misapply verses, even ones that sound really good.

Musing About Trials (Is Satan testing Me Like Job? Did God really send me this trial?)

I doubt that I can blame my trial on Satan a la Job (what does Satan care about me???). First of all, Job was pious and more religiously diligent than the average Jahweh-worshiper of his time and thus Job's name came up in conversation between Satan and God (apparently somehow they were still on speaking terms). Somehow (pardon the slightly sarcastic tone), if God and Satan are still having any conversation, I don't think it's about you or me (it seems just a little arrogant to think so). When trials occur, I do not think they are (usually) Personal Satanic attacks. Job's attack was personal. Satan had it in for Job because he was special.

On the question of if God sent me this specific trial, Somehow I don't think God is sitting there with a smorgasbord list of trials and testings ("Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God...neither tempteth he any man James 1:13"), looking to match them up with His children, somehow this strikes me as really out of character of a kind and loving God, though sometimes we talk as if this is the case. I just can't imagine that a good God said to himself (in my case), "Ah hah, the perfect trial for Steve--Brain Tumor!!! No, this tumor occurred in my head as a natural process, and God (in His sovereignty OK'd it as a trial that I would be allowed to go through and grow through. There exist plenty of sin-corrupted processes in this world that are consequences of the Fall, and that upon occasion can give us severe trials, such as mutated, cancerous cellsaging and its consequences, drunk, careless drivers who cause disastrous accidents,(even disasters of our own doing such as financial ruin, or not of our own doing like a lost job), and weather disasters. In His sovereignty, God ALLOWS these trials to occur in the life of His children, and his children to grow thereby, though I do think Satan will use them if he can to get the best of Christians (by urging them to become bitter or rebellious toward God, for example) (He "walks about seeking whom he may devour."). God has promised not to allow a trial that is more than we can bear, and He has promised to see us through with His amazing Grace, Love, Goodness and unlimited Strength as the Good Shepherd. I suppose this view is at odds with those who are strong on God's sovereignty, my view would be that He ALLOWSthe trial to occur (or could, just as easily, in His omnipotence and sovereignty, NOT ALLOW IT TO OCCUR). Rom. 8:28 He then uses these things in our lives to help us to grow spiritually. ("All things work together for good.") Feel free to comment.

Musing About trials (Is this a Trial, or a testing, temptation, or a tribulation, or chastening, or a persecution)?)

Monday, October 5, 2009 at 8:11am
OK first of all, I am not, I don't believe, being "persecuted"by anyone. I don't even think the biblical phrase "fiery trial." applies (in the biblical sense) It could be a temptation (see below, certainly: "And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. (Luke 11:4) This thing that grew in my head is an evil result of the Fall, and asking to be delivered from having to endure such an evil thing is appropriate, especially as it is connected with being led into temptation, and believe me, there are plenty of temptations associated with severe illnesses, from lashing out at your caregivers, to wallowing in self-pity, which, fundamentally, is simply a form of rebellion, to having the urge to call damnation down on things that frustrate or hurt you, like getting poked for an IV transfusion every other week,to questioning God and getting bitter against Him, to being stubborn and uncooperative, to having to (reluctantly) come face to face with the very real possibility of dying, and getting properly prepared for that.
Tribulation:no.
Testing: Probably this is the best label for what is happening to me. I teach Tests and Measurements over at the College (at least I did for 13 or so years but not now). A test is a task given to see if a person is able to successfully achieve some important outcome. I think my test is passed by exhibiting trust in God (Ps 56:3) "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." for strength and grace (IICor. 12:9)"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness", and by not falling into the temptations I listed above. Feel free to comment.
Chastening: Well, it certainly could be, He knows I have done enough to earn a good chastening (Job 5:17): "Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty" (Heb. 12:11): "Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." If it is chastening, I count myself privileged to be "exercised" by it.

Musing About Trials (becoming"able" to give comfort to others)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 10:27am
II Cor. 1): God is the God of all comfort, and believe me, there are times of yearning for comfort when you go through a major trial like this. Many Scripture passages have been a comfort--too many to list here. (I will put them together at another time. I said to Cindy about both Intensive care and Acute Rehab.--They're both good places to get well, but not good places to live. I had a tube down my throat in Intensive care, so I couldn't drink, and I'll tell you I was desperately in need of comfort & dying for a drink of water. Funny as it may sound, I found myself taking comfort in an old cowboy song I had on my computer called, "Cool Water." (OK, I don't really know if that was from the Lord, but it comforted me.) In receiving comfort from God, we find that we gain the ability to comfort others (II Cor 1:4): "Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God."

Musing About Trials (When You lose a Talent You Use to serve the Lord--Why?)

STuesday, October 6, 2009 at 3:24pm
OK, I had a few talents I was using for the Lord, or so I thought--my left hand, for example, I wrote with it, typed, signed my name, played my violin in church, well enough for offertory specials and to play along with the congregation (which I really enjoy), and, being somewhat ambidextrous, I was almost as strong with my left hand as with my right, and pretty handy around the house and in the garden and helping out on church work days. My vocal chords had some talents I used for the Lord (singing, talking), but they have been rather slow to recover from intubation, I can barely manage the entire bass clef and my breath support is shot. I taught at the college, of course, taught Adult Bible Fellowship at Church for years, sang in choir, sang duets with my wife, and sang quartets and other specials. All of that has been taken away, and some of it is questionable whether it will come back (violin playing, handwriting). This is the only area of my trial where I have asked "Why?" "Why were my main talents taken?" It's not because I wasn't using them, I was fairly active in vocal and instrumental special music. Comments welcome. One of my colleagues at the college with a beautiful voice lost it to a malady of some sort, I must talk to him about this.

Musing About Trials (Facing death)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009 at 12:58pm
When you have an incurable disease like mine (I will have to live with this for the rest of my life), you think about death. I have quite frankly enjoyed living nearly my entire life (for 49 years at least) (saved at age of 5) knowing my eternal destiny was secure, so what happens when/if I die from this is not and has not been on my mind. What is on my mind, Now that I have been married for nearly 30 years, the thought of death is much more difficult to face, leaving my sweet wife behind to go it alone is an extremely painful thought (brings tears to my eyes even as I type this), though we have seen to it that she's secure finance-wise. I admit. I hate the thought of leaving the house with the cute screen room we bought together and made so many happy memories in and are so close to having completely paid off, and leaving the apple trees I finally, just this year, learned how to make produce excellent apples, and leaving our flowers, and leaving my little 13 year-old puppy, and leaving the trike my sweetheart bought me (I know some of those are just "things," and I'm a bit ashamed to admit my strong emotional attachment to "things of this world." Hope I never in eternity (even in my glorified body) forget the life I had down here with Cindy I hope "tears being wiped away" doesn't mean our memories are erased:

(I confess I switched the "you" and "I" around in this poem to make it fit better) "Should I go first and you remain
To walk the road alone,
You'll live in memory's garden, dear,
With happy days we've known.
In spring you'll wait for roses red,
When fades the lilac blue,
In early fall, when brown leaves call
You'll catch a glimpse of me.

Should I go first and you remain
For battles to be fought,
Each thing I've touched along the way
Will be a hallowed spot.
You'll hear my voice, you'll see my smile,
Though blindly you may grope,
The memory of my helping hand
Will buoy you on with hope.

Should I go first and you remain
To finish with the scroll,
No length'ning shadows shall creep in
To make this life seem droll.
We've known so much of happiness,
We've had our cup of joy,
And memory is one gift of God
That death cannot destroy.

Should I go first and you remain,
One thing I promise to do:
I'll Walk slowly down that long, lone path,
For soon you'll follow me.
I'll want you to know each step I take,
That you may walk the same,
For someday down that lonely road
I'll hear you call my name.

Yet, "to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord," and we both know this. She may yet precede me in death, of course, through an accident or sudden illness, that's one of life's unknowns. Feel free to comment.

Cindy wrote: This certainly will be the hardest thing to face, being separated from the one I love, but for now all I can focus on is living and soaking up every minute we have together and making memories that I'll treasure for a lifetime. You are the best treasure that God gave me here on earth!

Musing About Trials (walking in the valley) Morning Musing About Trials (walking in the valley)

Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 5:21am
It is a comfort to know that when our path leads through a valley, the Good Shepherd's rod is there to protect, and the staff is there to guide. I am protected, and if I heed the touch of his staff, I will not lose my way. Psalm 56:3
What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee
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Cindy Stratford
Cindy Stratford
Cindy StratfordThis certainly will be the hardest thing to face, being separated from the one I love, but for now all I can focus on is living and soaking up every minute we have together and making memories that I'll treasure for a lifetime. You are the best treasure that God has given me here on earth!

Musing About Trials (chastisement)

Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 5:45am
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. (Hebrews 12:8) "My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction"(Proverbs 3:11-12)"

Correction is connected with the development of wisdom and understanding:

For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
13Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. (Proverbs 3:11-13).
Even Jesus was chastised, though of course He did not deserve it, it was for our sins he was chastised :
But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. (Is. 53:5)
If what I'm going through is chastening, then I welcome it, because of the very positive outcome: Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.(Heb. 12:11)
"peaceable" means "salutary":

1. favorable to or promoting health; healthful.
2. promoting or conducive to some beneficial purpose; wholesome.

Musing about my trial (epilepsy in the Bible)

Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 7:30am | Edit Note | Delete
Yes, a person who has a tumor removal such as mine often develops epilepsy, and I am no exception (seizures--mine are "partial focal"--affecting my left side only) (it's from the scar tissue left over from the operation). There's a fascinating article about Jesus healing the epileptic boy (Matthew 17, Mark 9) here:

http://www.desitin.no/index.php/artgallery/detail/1312
and here:

http://www.desitin.no/index.php/artgallery/detail/1307

Also look at "famous epileptics in Representational art (I)" for an interesting discussion that Paul's thorn may have been epileptic fits (as portrayed by Renaissance artists).